So many notebooks filled was poetry  thoughts and ideas and short stories bringing it  to my computer and the Internet so time-consuming ,it gives me hope that maybe in rewriting some of this  that I will find the creative juices to finish my book .

                      converse shoes
2001



My heart hung on my sleeve
for all the world to see
brought on by inconsiderate means
 your pain strained on your face
 tears fall unevenly to the floor
 as my heart bleeds
 seeping through your hands
 stomped on by your Converse shoes
 dried on hard concrete
 how are you in your dark place
 when will it be better will a mind lose its insanity
 I'm sickened by your presence
my insides twist I want to vomit
when your name rides on the edge of my mind
 my chest constricts and my heart is squeezed
 tighter harder on the inside
the only thought that comes to mind is why
 do we do this to each other
 driving each other mad
 stomping and throwing our guilt and grievances
 hate love  needing to be released 
from this torment the grasps
 reaches bends drives that inner peace
 long gone from our insignificant lives
desolate  life
 From others living in this tortured word
 pressed for breath this mind
trucks on ahead of the other thoughts
 of acceptance they can decide
 with the reality truly lives when death is all I feel
in my tortured heart
it is no more yours, then it is mine
 take your guilt and your shame
 give it someone else
 my apathy  is endless
for there is nothingness when it comes to you
 and your Converse shoes

2002


Years have passed by, gentle they've been

our eyes find each other in a crowded room

feelings grow larger with each passing moment.

  we're so mean , really awful

but our passions run deep

 I think of you every 24th  hour,  my Bonnie and Clyde I'll be

can I love you today, tomorrow, ever after

does that exist in this  dream

your breath is hot my cheek

burning my gentle flesh

the simple look smile or greeting

I'm yours In my dreams

we live happily you and I

can I keep you  just for my eyes to see

 the strength that holds you together

draws me like honey to a bee

and I fall apart  with your tender kiss

2004

Your kisses inflame my inner secrets
 soft and pliable your lips are
 gently massaging me demanding '  opening my soul
 showing me more in the world than there is
your kisses are like Rainbows
 intense light flashing in my minds eyes
of all things to imagine
 you kissing me tenderly
 the settings plain or extravagant
 as long as we agree to the love of our wet lips
 your breasts caressing my senses
 rocking me physically
 kisses that I know more than myself
 when your hand envelops me totally
 there's no surprise  to maddening passion
 spoken simply with the dance

2000
test of my love

Can I rip you wide open
screaming with black rage
 pouring forth the fire of your soul
 the pain that Sears the slain
 joy of a good strike
 nagging, impaling, on your instruments of desire
 each welt bringing hot burning
 sulfur flesh to the edge 
suffering the test of my love
hard I am
 let me press you are limits
  bring tears to your eyes
 let me penetration  you
 see if I can break your pride
  humiliate, you love you, bring your blush

waiting

Waiting
I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen
like my life is full like the air is pregnant.
 I feel like something is supposed to happen I don't know what it is and I'm just waiting for that moment .  feels like states for testing is pressing down on me and am waiting for my life  to open up to this possibility .
but waiting is inpatients